Michigan Golfer ON-LINE

From the Editor

FAQs or Frequently Asked Questions are now commonplace on many websites. They're a good way for companies to address the basic and most often asked questions posed by their customers. For example, one can go to Microsoft's website and find a dizzying array of replies to such questions as: How can I double click on the main group icon while triple clicking on the Control Panel? Or: Where do I email Bill Gates if I'm having trouble coming up with a clever password? Anyway, it came to mind that Michigan Golfer in the year 2000 needs to get up to speed. In today's dotcom world, you're a nobody if you don't have FAQs. So, dusting off our letters and a review of recent emails, here's our official FAQs:

Hey, can you get me tickets to the Masters? Sure, no problem. As a matter of fact, we were just trying to unload four final round tickets just the other day. As luck would have it, these ducats include lunch in Ike's Cabin, fishing on Ike's Pond, pruning of Ike's Tree, an overnight in the Crow's Nest, and a playing lesson with Byron Nelson on Monday following the event. Go to our website for more details.

Hey, can you get me on Crystal Downs? I hear it's a nice track. Consider it done. Our magazine usually reserves a block of teetimes each day during the summer for our loyal readers and for some of our biggest classified section advertisers. Due to demand, please be informed that you may be asked to play in a fivesome. Visit our website for the 24-hour Downs hotline number.

Hey, can you organize and arrange our golf itinerary to Ireland? It would be our pleasure. Our crack staff of experts is ready to assist you with all your travel needs. Included in our "Team Eire" are retired caddies from Ballybunion, truck drivers from the Ring of Kerry, goat-herders from Lahinch, baggage handlers from Aer Lingus, and public health nurses from Royal County Down. Bonus: just click on michigangolfer.com and earn triple miles and a case of Bushmills.

Hey, can I get inside the Buick Open Press Tent to ask Tiger a few questions and get him to sign my cap? So long as you bring with you a copy of Michigan Golfer with your subscriber mailing label intact, you'll be treated to unfettered access to Mr. Woods at Warwick Hills. In fact, this summer due to a generous agreement with IMG, ten lucky subscribers will spend the entire week with Tiger, enjoying his company, his computer games, and his latest tips from Butch Harmon. Just surf over to our website and register your interest for this special opportunity.

Hey, I can write. How do I get to review some of these hot new courses? Currently, Michigan Golfer now has 23 openings in its Course Reviewer Department. However, stringent requirements disappoint many applicants. Besides some English, one must be conversant in Gaelic, Carnoustie Scottish brogue, and a dialect known as Henrylonghurstian, where one must say in impeccable King's tongue: "And there you have it." Oh yes, all applicants must find something good to say about the routing of Old Munitions Dump GC without resorting to: "it'll force you to use every club in the bag." Visit our chat room of rejected applicants for enlightening acrimony.

And there you have it: The first edition of FAQs for Michigan Golfer. Next month, visit this space for details on our upcoming IPO: Ike's Pond Ode.

Terry Moore

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